Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object 

Oh, The Onion. Perfect as always. Thought you were losing it in the final straight, but then you bring it on home at the end.

@1 year ago | Comments

Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident

I love you, TheOnion

@2 years ago with 2 notes | Comments
OH MY GOD HAMMERS!
Death by hammers is easily the most hilarious thing in the world. I don’t even know how to start explaining this to you guys.

OH MY GOD HAMMERS!

Death by hammers is easily the most hilarious thing in the world. I don’t even know how to start explaining this to you guys.

@2 years ago with 55 notes | Comments
@2 years ago with 45 notes | Comments

This is oddly lovely… odd because in principle I don’t like this Chumbawumba song, despite it being lovely hearing people singing it. Also, well, They Might Be Giants are the dictionary definition of oddly lovely.

@2 years ago with 3 notes | Comments

"

I consider you a friend, Douglas. Together, we have shared many adventures, from waiting in line for the Star Wars: Episode I premiere to meeting Mark “Dukat” Alaimo at ComiCon 2001. Your friendship is as valuable to me as my Michael York-autographed DVD of Logan’s Run.

But when it comes to reasoned, thoughtful, and informed discussions on the Green Lantern continuum and its place within the larger DC universe, I hold friends to the same high standard I would strangers or anyone else.

So long as you insist on clinging to your, quite frankly, bizarre opinions on the Emerald Knight’s 60-plus-year history, it is not worth my time to engage you in purposeless noisemaking. Rather than become agitated, as I’ve allowed you to make me in the past, I will simply serve notice that I will not entertain any future Green Lantern discussions with you until you have come to a more mature place in your development as a fan. When you are ready to have a serious conversation about Green Lantern, you have my e-mail address.

"

When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source

Oh Onion. As usual, you perfectly predict what I need to read, sometimes by nearly ten years.

@2 years ago | Comments
Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films.

Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films.

(Source: literallyunbelievable)

@2 years ago with 1,886 notes | Comments
@2 years ago | Comments
@1 year ago | Comments
I always knew Justin Bieber was a something something.Via literallyunbelievable

I always knew Justin Bieber was a something something.
Via literallyunbelievable

@2 years ago with 167 notes | Comments
WTF Bill Watterson?Via literallyunbelievable!

WTF Bill Watterson?
Via literallyunbelievable!

@2 years ago with 56 notes | Comments
Wow. I think I’d like to adopt this method of debt repayment in EVERY situation. We should shoot the banks. Actually, as we bailed them out, I guess strictly speaking the banks are in debt to us. So maybe they should use that money to give us some of their lead-jacketed payback.
Yes, that’s definitely the way to handle lenders. Banks should hire private armies, wipe us all out.
Dur.

Wow. I think I’d like to adopt this method of debt repayment in EVERY situation. We should shoot the banks. Actually, as we bailed them out, I guess strictly speaking the banks are in debt to us. So maybe they should use that money to give us some of their lead-jacketed payback.

Yes, that’s definitely the way to handle lenders. Banks should hire private armies, wipe us all out.

Dur.

(Source: literallyunbelievable)

@2 years ago with 45 notes | Comments
via The Onion

via The Onion

(Source: chrishaley, via phoning-it-in)

@2 years ago with 635 notes | Comments
@2 years ago with 23 notes | Comments
@2 years ago with 4 notes | Comments
Teenage Girl Blossoming Into Beautiful Object→

Oh, The Onion. Perfect as always. Thought you were losing it in the final straight, but then you bring it on home at the end.

1 year ago
#The Onion #gender #satire 
1 year ago
#The Onion #kickstarter #satire #video #journalism 
2 years ago
#The Onion #video #news #comedy 
I always knew Justin Bieber was a something something.Via literallyunbelievable
2 years ago
#The Onion #Facebook #our stupid world #comedy #news #Justin Bieber 
OH MY GOD HAMMERS!
Death by hammers is easily the most hilarious thing in the world. I don’t even know how to start explaining this to you guys.
2 years ago
#The Onion #Comedy #news #Facebook #our stupid world 
WTF Bill Watterson?Via literallyunbelievable!
2 years ago
#The Onion #comedy #news #Facebook #our stupid world #Bill Watterson #Calvin & Hobbes 
2 years ago
#The Onion #journalism 
Wow. I think I’d like to adopt this method of debt repayment in EVERY situation. We should shoot the banks. Actually, as we bailed them out, I guess strictly speaking the banks are in debt to us. So maybe they should use that money to give us some of their lead-jacketed payback.
Yes, that’s definitely the way to handle lenders. Banks should hire private armies, wipe us all out.
Dur.
2 years ago
#The Onion 
2 years ago
#Chumbawumba #music #The Onion #video #audio #They Might Be Giants 
via The Onion
2 years ago
#Ryan Reynolds #comics #DC #Green LAntern #movies #The onion 
"

I consider you a friend, Douglas. Together, we have shared many adventures, from waiting in line for the Star Wars: Episode I premiere to meeting Mark “Dukat” Alaimo at ComiCon 2001. Your friendship is as valuable to me as my Michael York-autographed DVD of Logan’s Run.

But when it comes to reasoned, thoughtful, and informed discussions on the Green Lantern continuum and its place within the larger DC universe, I hold friends to the same high standard I would strangers or anyone else.

So long as you insist on clinging to your, quite frankly, bizarre opinions on the Emerald Knight’s 60-plus-year history, it is not worth my time to engage you in purposeless noisemaking. Rather than become agitated, as I’ve allowed you to make me in the past, I will simply serve notice that I will not entertain any future Green Lantern discussions with you until you have come to a more mature place in your development as a fan. When you are ready to have a serious conversation about Green Lantern, you have my e-mail address.

"

When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source

Oh Onion. As usual, you perfectly predict what I need to read, sometimes by nearly ten years.

2 years ago
#The Onion #Green Lantern #comics #DC 
2 years ago
#The Onion #comedy #facebook 
Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films.
2 years ago
#The Onion #Digital life 
2 years ago
#Apple #The Onion #video 
2 years ago
#The Onion #video #comedy #Fast 5